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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25075495">Kiteman en sauce</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hell_nah/pseuds/Hell_nah'>Hell_nah</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DCU, Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:09:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25075495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hell_nah/pseuds/Hell_nah</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiteman finds love with the most unexpected person.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy, Kiteman/Condy, kiteman/kiteman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Kiteman en sauce</h2></a>
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    <p>He will remember that night for the rest of his life. It was raining and like every kite expert would know, flying with a kite is  discouraged if the sky isn't clear. </p><p>And as a kites specialist himself, the best of his kind actually, Kiteman didn't fly that night. He took the bus like every normal person. He might be a  D-lister with a ridiculous tight green suit and a stupid kite like every kid in every park, but he's still humble.</p><p>Since his break up with Gertrude, he goes to the bar every day and get loaded and then start crying for no reasons and puke on himself. It became his favorite thing. He likes to embarrass himself and make people feel bad for him. That's the thing he does best. </p><p>And that was his intention that night as well. But things didn't go as planned. He didn't expect to stumble upon his nemesis in that bar. But he did. And to his surprise, that night turned to be way more exciting than he had expected. </p><p>He doesn't remember how that happened but after a couple of drinks, he somehow ended up in bed with him. Condiment King. His name already sounds different in his mind after what they shared. </p><p>"Condy..." Kiteman whispers as he bites his lower lip eagerly at the memory of the two intense minutes of passion he shared with Condiment King.</p><p>He remembers their warm and sweating bodies as they writhed in pleasure against each other.<br/>
He remembers allowing Condy to cover his whole body with ketchup and mustard. He then remembers Condy's warm tongue as it licked the condiments from his skin.</p><p>"Condy…" says kiteman once again, almost sounding desperate for his nemesis' touch. He still can taste the mustard on his lips as he run his tongue over his upper lip. He didn't take a shower since then. Didn't want to wash away the remaining traces of their moment together.</p><p>He remembers shouting toward the ceiling "Hell yeah!" over and over again. And the more he would do that, the rougher and passionate Condy would become. Kiteman doesn't remember ever shouting his catch phrase these many times before in only two minutes. Yet, Condiment King, with his rough hands and his ketchup and mustard guns managed to do just that. </p><p>Kiteman blushes as he finds himself staring at the picture of Condiment King on his phone screen. He brushes the tip of his index finger over Condy's picture. </p><p>"Hell yeah…" he whispers with a slight smile. </p><p>The end.</p>
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